Today is Saigon. A walking tour with key points being the "Presidential Palace" and the War Remnants Museum. TheWRM is mainly photographs and assorted exhibits. It certainly rams home what war does to people and the suffering it causes. I had flashbacks to the fall of Saigon as I stood on top of the"Presidential Palace" and watched in horror as the tourist buses slowly rumbled through the gates. It is time to escape on the next plane (even if it is Jetstar - slightly better than queuing up with the boat people).
My parting tips on surviving Vietnam
1. When crossing the streets of Hanoi forget EVERYTHING you were ever told about crossing streets. Do not look left or right - the constant streams of traffic will terrify you; look straight ahead and walk slowly and steadily across - assume the traffic will swerve around you; NEVER stop and NEVER make a sudden bolt - if you do you will die. Even the Lonely Planet recommends this approach ! Saigon can be similar - but isn't always - more judgement and luck is required
2. Never agree to buy anything until the price is FIRMLY agreed. It is best agreed in writing as 15 can mysteriously become 50 when payment is due. Vietnamese rightly treat people who don't ask for an exact price as the Supreme Intergalactic Idiot - and charge them accordingly.
3. Be careful with your well-educated, mathematically-clever wife. Currency conversion will convert her into a confused, babbler within hours. The first fatal sign is when she announces "I am good at Maths ! I don't need a calculator".4. Don't let your wife shop in Hoi An or be with you when you shop. Don't even ask why ! Just DON'T DO IT.
5. Vietnam (and Laos) are generally very clean - hotel rooms especially. The only creature larger than a mosquito in our rooms was a solitary small, gecko. No cockroaches or other crawlies. Bathrooms were always spotless (and western style). We saw only one rat, on the last day, in a deserted open, riverside marketplace. However Kitty says she saw another creating blog entries. What does she mean ?
6. Expect to always have a wet bathroom floor after showering. Virtually all hotels have no shower cabinet or screen. The entire floor is the "shower base". In very cheap Laos hotels the water from the basin usually also goes down a pipe straight onto the floor. But the bathroom is still very clean.
7. Travelling to tourist spots like Halong Bay is best done on a booked tour. You have to see the system to understand why. Getting off our boats at Halong bay reminded me of the civilians fleeing Saigon when it fell ! Without help you will not make it. With help it is effortless (usually !)
8. When ordering food NEVER say (as Kitty did) "We'll have what they are eating. The Vietnamese will eat ANYTHING - scorpions, eyeballs, semen, beating snake's hearts, dog, cat .... anything.
9. Never ask the price of anything before midday unless you are definitely going to buy it. The Vietnamese regard the first prospect of the day as setting their luck for the rest of the day. They are distraught if you do not buy something and will pursue you as if their life is in danger without a sale. To them - it is.
10. Bring your own Kleenex tissues - you never see any on sale. If you rely on blowing your nose on toilet paper, then only the toilet paper is happy ("Hey, guys - guess what happened to me - was I lucky !").
See you all real soon.
From some silly old blogger
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